Boobs and Boo-Boos

June 15, 2017

This was a STRANGE day!

They do say to expect things in threes, but little did I know, starting this day, what was going to happen in it! I’ve ended up laughing and telling the story here…

The first order of the day was a visit to the hospital for the dreaded mammogram. They had called me in for the annual imaging that follows my brush with breast cancer in 2011. It’s not one of my favourite things.

For those who do not know (I did not know until I was maybe 48 years old), they need a picture of the breasts, for diagnostics. There is a procedure to follow in order to obtain the best image possible.

I really think it was a man who thought this one up, and I really think a similar procedure should be ordered for those with man parts. Imagining that procedure is interesting.

Just kidding.

Maybe….

Maybe not…..

Poor man.

 

Poor WOMEN!!!!!!!

 

 

The mammogram machine is as pictured here. A woman removes her clothes above the waist and then is manipulated by hand, by an attendant, one breast at a time, in two separate directions for each breast, in order to place the breast properly between two plates, which are then pressed together, flattening out the breast tissue.
Here is the official description:

“A mammogram is a picture of your breast taken with a safe, low-dose X-ray machine. Your technologist will ask you to stand facing the mammography machine, and then place one breast at a time on a flat surface. … Compression is necessary to spread out the breast tissue and to eliminate motion, which may blur the image.”

I remember the first occasion vividly. It was with a group of ladies from the village and none of us knew what to expect.

Now, I wasn’t very big in that area of my physique to start with, and I was a bit apprehensive. It turned out to be quite invasive, and I felt sure that I had lost something of what little I had in this rather barbaric process of breast flattening.

The ladies all joked about the experience after, on the way home, and none of us felt excited about a promised repeat performance the following year. I did not go again until I had to begin this annual check up process 5 years ago as part of cancer recovery. I’m now free and clear and may never want to do this again 😉

So, with THAT procedure out of the way, my neighbour and I came home from having our different things done at the hospital to a scenario in our building lobby. Water, cascading down from the ceiling into the couch and onto the floor!

Oh my!

After the initial shock, we rushed to get the garbage containers from the lounge and placed them in strategically in the 3 worst spots. My neighbour called management and reported the problem.

 

In the meantime, a man from upstairs (Bill) showed up in the lobby. He can’t talk very well, as a result of a very bad stroke, so he was waving his hands and making noises. We thought we heard the word “soap”. We thought of the laundry room. Maybe that’s where the water was coming from!

So we (there were three of us ladies now) piled into the elevator with Bill and headed to second floor, where he lived, headed for the laundry room on that floor. We were joined by a fourth lady, who, once informed, followed us in our quest.

All of us ladies piled into the tiny laundry room which was bone dry. No leaks, no soap here. We tumbled out into the hallway to find Bill standing with his hands on his hips, and realized then that he meant the problem was in his apartment, not the laundry room.

We all went into Bill’s place and found his carpet was soaked. There were soap bubbles coming from near the wall on the floor, and we could see that the leak was coming from upstairs. So, all 4 ladies, and Bill, piled into the elevator to the third floor, hoping the problem was not in fact going to end up being from the 4th floor, because we knew that particular man was out and about somewhere.

My neighbour knocked on the third floor door above Bill’s place, asking loudly if there was a leak problem in there. A voice said “Yes”, and 4 ladies and Bill poured into his apartment to witness a flooded carpet and kitchen floor, and one very distressed fellow, a new man to our building, trying to mop up his disaster.

He said ” I was washing dishes and then I went to have a shower.” I asked if he had phoned management and he said he hadn’t, so my neighbour did that.

Now the place is being invaded by a host of alien looking suction and drying machines in the lobby. The workers are removing the baseboard in the lobby and talking about peeling the ceiling plaster to examine for damage.

 

 

The ladies and I went into the common room, the building lounge, for a cup of coffee and it was while sitting there having my drink that the third notable event of the day took place. Unbelievable!

Something flew in front of my right eye on its way to the floor. I thought, and said, “What was that?” As I looked around, trying to see what had fallen, I realized that something was wrong with my eyesight. My left eye.

I put my hand up to my glasses and found, to my dismay, that the left side of my glasses had fallen apart and the left lens was completely gone. Oh no!!!!

Four friends were in the coffee room by now and they all helped me search the floor and the lens was finally retrieved. You must understand we are all pensioners with failing eyesight (with or without glasses) and failing hearing, which makes everything both funnier and harder.

 

 

I asked around for an eye glass repair set but no one owned one. I knew I had one but I also knew that it was lost in my recent move. Who knows where it could be now?

I went to see another friend to check for a repair set. No, he did not have one. Well, I knew I had one SOMEWHERE. Nothing for it but to go search it out. Hmmmm. How to find it without the glasses?

It’s amazing how different the world is without your glasses. Everything is suddenly blurred and looking for something small in that condition is quite a task. However, after several futile attempts, in different old purses, a packsack, and then in a little used suitcase, I finally found something I thought might be it and took that to my other friend, who did have functional glasses.

 

 

He couldn’t see much either, even with his glasses on and working, but he had a bonus. He was in possession of a very large electrical magnifying glass so he “operated” on the tiny screw in my glasses, and, after two attempts, he restored them to usefulness for me. I was so thankful!

 

I thought my day was over but then a friend I was expecting buzzed the building intercom and my phone DIED before I could answer it. I literally RAN downstairs to the entry as fast as the legs and elevator could carry me, only to find no sign of her at the building doors. I stepped outside, in the rain, in my slippers, and checked around, calling her name. I spotted what I thought might be her car as it pulled out and drove away. Uh-oh.

The final “insult” of the day was almost complete, but not quite. I had not brought my keys to get back in the building. I would have to buzz a friend to get back in. Oh dear.

 

Luckily, a home care worker was exiting the building and I sneaked in as she got out, saying, “I forgot my keys.” She said nothing and did not look pleased. No wonder.

Anyone associated with the building knows the rules around a secure building. No key, no entry. Don’t break the rules.

What a day!

Squishing, leaking, busting and exclusion.

All in short order.

When I got home and my phone had charged, I received a call from my visiting friend that she had buzzed me and that her phone was dying. I was just telling her what happened when HER phone went dead. GREAT! PERFECT!

There are only a few hours left, but I am home and I can now see to pack for my trip tomorrow with the friend who tried to stop by to visit with me today. Hope all goes well for us both in the new day!

 

 

 

I’m glad I can find the FUNNY side. I hope you can see it too 😉

 

AJ ❤

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