A Letter to My Dream Reader
(Please click on the photo to make it full size, and really enjoy the magnificent view before you read on.)
This photo takes my breath away. I just stare at it in silence and awe, as if life is suddenly on pause.
It reminds me of my husband. I’m not sure why, except that I know he would have loved taking this photo. So this Blogging 101 assignment, this letter to my dream reader, will be a letter to my husband, who passed away in 2006. I would love for him to be able to read my blog.
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My dearest Jim,
I’d like you to know how much I loved you, and still do. I miss you terribly at times, even though, as the years pass, it becomes easier to bear. Losing you was so unexpected and so suddenly painful, I sometimes thought I would die. I thought I would never stop crying. I thought I could never feel again, never love again, because losing you hurt so much. It made me afraid.
I did not know how to go on, as seemingly only half of myself. The other half of me, you, was ripped away. What was I supposed to do, I kept asking God. What was I to do now, alone? I did not know. I sunk into numbness and very deep depression.
It has taken some time and a life crisis or two for me to find the answers, to find myself once again, to become whole, and to take the next steps in life. It has not been an easy path. I’ve learned just how much I need to depend on God.
You know how often I liked to read, and to write. I know it used to bother you that I always had my nose in some book or other until late into the night sometimes, and then I would leave the bed and be up writing, another of my loves.
You never said much about it. You knew I loved what I was doing. You knew it was my passion. I would sometimes read you the things I read, or the things I wrote. Those things might be about life in general, things God was showing me, or even about you and our relationship. I liked to share my reading and my writing with you.
I have been reading and writing things since. I’ve been writing things about life, things that amuse me, things that I know would make you smile or laugh, things that concern me that I’m unable to share with you now, things I am learning in my walk with God without you by my side, and things I remember about you and my history with you, of course. This assignment is my first opportunity to offer to share them with you, my love.
I invite you to read. Read my loss, read my pain, read my struggles, read my discoveries, read my hopes, read my joy, and share all of that with me here. Only you would completely understand. Only you shared that history of our life together. Only you knew me well enough to understand what I have been going through since you left. Only you know what brings me hope and joy. Only you would know how I have grown since you left.
Thank you for loving me the way you did.
Welcome to my blog….
I miss you ❤
Ann
28 comments on “A Letter to My Dream Reader”
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Ann's Corner 
Ann, this is so poignant. Beautiful, too. I’m sure your husband would’ve loved your blog. And remember that our loved ones never truly leave our side. He’ll always be with you, not physically but in memory.
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Thank you for your words…..
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Just beautiful, Ann. This is my favorite post so far and I’m sure your husband would have loved it.
I’m not sure why your posts aren’t showing up in my newsfeed anymore, so I hunted you down. 🙂 I hope your holy-day season went well.
Blessings
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I’ve lost track of people I want to read and usually read because of doing Blogging 101. My reader got FILLED to the brim with stuff coming from the course and people from there that I do not follow. I don’t know why. I will check and see if my reader confirms that I’m still following you. I press wrong buttons sometimes on my tiny phone, much to my dismay! 😦
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I think the issue is that for some reason, I’m not following YOU. I followed again and hopefully it’ll “stick” this time. I hadn’t seen you in my reader for awhile and wondered where you were! 🙂
I suspect that because I use a smart phone to check my stats, my thumbs hit buttons that I’m not aware of. I’ve accidentally “unfollowed” another person so I wonder if it’s the same for you. Well, I’m following again now and glad to do more reading of your posts. 🙂 Looks like you’re getting some good hits! Great work!
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Thanks! 🙂
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Yes, it says i am following….
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I had to go look for OM yesterday….
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A beautiful post. Your husband is reading as we are. He would love your blog, as another has stated. Prayers for you to stay strong. Keep up the good work. ❤ 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂
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Absolutely beautiful. I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you’re able to carry so many memories with you. The love you shared with your husband came through effortlessly in this. This type of love is what I’d like to have.
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Thanks so much.
Our love was special, not easy, but very special. ❤
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Wow Ann what a beautiful letter to your husband. It really struck a chord with me. Thank you for sharing this letter and your life experiences.
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Glad you enjoyed it. I loved writing a letter to him….
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Would love to ssee pictures of your husband and I agree with you this class takes up a good chunk of my time.
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There are some in posts here. I’ll paste a link when I find then, but there are some on FB too in my photos.
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.Men don’t cry? Well,i just did.Beautiful writing,thank you!
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Thank you!
Glad you appreciated it 🙂
Ann
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Your letter truly touched me. My husband was diagnosed with cancer nearly two years ago and, although he is still here, I spent a lot of time trying to come to terms with what my life would be without him. The love that you and Jim shared comes through perfectly in your letter. Thank you for sharing it.
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❤ I'm glad it meant something to you, sorry for what you are going through though. That is very hard.
It has been 10 years for me now. He passed away in 2006. Writing about him is therapeutic for me. There are other posts here and poems too. Also a FB page you can find on the sidebar when you open a post. The FB page was done in memory of him.
Thanks for visiting my page! Don't forget to "sign" the Guestbook and leave your link 🙂
Lovely to meet you ❤
Ann
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And you as well, Ann. I’ll definitely be reading!
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You know your words are exactly my words after my father passed. I was exactly in the same state of mind. Depressed and broken in every way a person can be shattered. The only difference is I banished God while you believed more strongly in him. I like your use of simple words like myself. Don’t know why, but I feel a connection to you. I believe some things can’t be explained, it’s one of them. I feel bonded to you just after my first visit here. 😊
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Awe ❤
Sometimes there is a strong connection online, even when we don't know someone yet.
Sorry about your Dad. Did your faith return? I know I struggled for a bit, asking God "WHY???"
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Yes, that is true. We behind these screens are all heart and feelings. We sure feel instant bonds at times. Like I felt to you. ❤️My father was a great man, I will miss him till my last breath. But no, my faith isn’t back yet. Though I found peace. I only thank my father for it. I used to be a true believer. The harder you soar, the harder you fall I guess. 🌹😊
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Sometimes I so wish my father could read my blog, see me, pat my back. One more long talk with him, one more hug, one more kiss. One last phone call. Death is so finite. I stayed in chronic depression for more than 4 yrs.
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I went into deep depression also. It was followed by hospitalisation for it and then a brush with cancer (blogged here). I’ve written poetry here about the depression also….
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This is one poem on the depression: https://annofgg.com/2014/10/03/deliverance/
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Thank you for the reference. Will read it soon. 😊🙏
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