A taste of FAITH, a touch of LAUGHTER.
(Please click on the photo to make it full size, and really enjoy the magnificent view before you read on.)
This photo takes my breath away. I just stare at it in silence and awe, as if life is suddenly on pause.
It reminds me of my husband. I’m not sure why, except that I know he would have loved taking this photo. So this Blogging 101 assignment, this letter to my dream reader, will be a letter to my husband, who passed away in 2006. I would love for him to be able to read my blog.
My dearest Jim,
I’d like you to know how much I loved you, and still do. I miss you terribly at times, even though, as the years pass, it becomes easier to bear. Losing you was so unexpected and so suddenly painful, I sometimes thought I would die. I thought I would never stop crying. I thought I could never feel again, never love again, because losing you hurt so much. It made me afraid.
I did not know how to go on, as seemingly only half of myself. The other half of me, you, was ripped away. What was I supposed to do, I kept asking God. What was I to do now, alone? I did not know. I sunk into numbness and very deep depression.
It has taken some time and a life crisis or two for me to find the answers, to find myself once again, to become whole, and to take the next steps in life. It has not been an easy path. I’ve learned just how much I need to depend on God.
You know how often I liked to read, and to write. I know it used to bother you that I always had my nose in some book or other until late into the night sometimes, and then I would leave the bed and be up writing, another of my loves.
You never said much about it. You knew I loved what I was doing. You knew it was my passion. I would sometimes read you the things I read, or the things I wrote. Those things might be about life in general, things God was showing me, or even about you and our relationship. I liked to share my reading and my writing with you.
I have been reading and writing things since. I’ve been writing things about life, things that amuse me, things that I know would make you smile or laugh, things that concern me that I’m unable to share with you now, things I am learning in my walk with God without you by my side, and things I remember about you and my history with you, of course. This assignment is my first opportunity to offer to share them with you, my love.
I invite you to read. Read my loss, read my pain, read my struggles, read my discoveries, read my hopes, read my joy, and share all of that with me here. Only you would completely understand. Only you shared that history of our life together. Only you knew me well enough to understand what I have been going through since you left. Only you know what brings me hope and joy. Only you would know how I have grown since you left.
Thank you for loving me the way you did.
Welcome to my blog….
I miss you ❤