Cancer, Fear, loneliness, and a little “deer friend” gift.

Fear, loneliness, and my little deer friend….

It’s Feb 21, 2024.

I’m a 75 year old woman, lying in a hosptal bed, hugging the stuffed animal gift my dear friend Didi had bought me as a gift, “a deer friend for a dear friend”, she had said.

I was lonely and scared in a weak moment, thinking about the fact that I might be discharged today from the wonderful care and attention of the great staff who work here at this emergency crtitical decision unit of the hospital in my current town of Campbell River. Going home to pallative care, basically to prepare for coming death.

Well, with the little deer’s legs snuggled into my neck, it’s face on my face, and petting it’s little, soft, warm body, more tears came as it felt so alive, like a little cat, responding to massage just as a little animal would naturally do, and the comfort of a real presence poured out of this little stuffed animal as if all the prayers of the world had been poured into it and onto me!

Wow!

What a wonder!

I am blessed.

I am loved.

I’m not ever really alone, but sometimes the presence of a little deer friend helps one along the way, til you remember that God is in it all….

Thank you, Lord for these comforting moments.

Thank you, Didi!

As I wrote to a praying friend in our church in the wee hours of this morning:

Good morning.

Thank you.

Definitely a new chapter as i go from independence to dependence rather quickly (it can be very upsetting, like right now when the commode was just too far away in the night.) However, I have this marvellous little “deer friend” stuffie I was given that comforts me greatly after the crying and confusion of the bathroom in the night. It feels like a real animal I’m petting! I personally think it’s full of everyone’s love and prayers! Somehow!

Thank You God!

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PS. I have so many thoughtful caring friends and family around me at this time. So many to thank for their presence in this journey with me, but at this particular moment, the writer in me wanted to tell you all this little true story of one or two moments of much needed comfort in my journey. Every single one of you counts in my life in so many different ways.

Much love and thankfulness to Eva, my soul sister in the Lord, with her comforting presence (I know it hurts her to see me going through all this stuff happening to her friend). She lives on another island and has to take a ferry over to visit, to look after my apartment, my fish, fetching and carrying and meeting my needs while in this CDU (critical decision unit), the emergency part of the hospital.

But, even here, we get to continue to share our life and faith journeys that are somehow intertwined for a long space of our lives as teachers and friends. Thank God for Eva!

Maggie Mae, my precious and lovely niece, who is a bundle of wild, zany, good, youthful energy and a wonderful blessing in my life, bringing me what I need and things I didn’t even think of……God keep her!.

Doreen, a champion of strong womanly integrity, caring, kind, all three of these wonderful women bringing me things I’ve wanted and needed for comfort here. Bless you, Doreen!

My son Tallon, taking time off work to be with Mom, seeing to any expressed need of mine, along with his lovely lady friend, Lianna, another blessing I’m just getting to know. Tallon has been looking after me in very practical helpful ways for some time now with my health needs.

Thank you, Tallon!

Jackie, an ex nurse from Kyuquot who was an early part of my early, colourful, former life journey to faith and is still present ministering into it, visiting and praying with me.

Jim Miller, a friend and missionary colleague, along with his wife, Kristy, who have been a supportive presence in the life of me and my late husband, Jim and I for many years as missionaries with NAIM ministries….

Heidi Vage (Symington) another missionary minded spirit filled young woman, I’ve known since she first came to Kyuquot in ministry, married a lovely Christian man, Steinar, and they serve together in Kyuquot with another lovely young couple (Josh and Mindy) today. She came with Jeff Osenenko, a former student, and they prayed healing over my body.

Verna and Veronica, her daughter were here with Heidi and Jeff to visit me and pray with Heidi and Jeff. Veronica brought me a beautiful devotional bible focused on the cancer journey. These two ladies have been with me before in a different kind of crisis. Sat with me, helped however they could! Precious people…..

Joanne, an extraordinally wonderful Godly woman of often very practical caring faith, also aging and losing some of her extraordinary power and energy that carroes her through life. She travelled out of her isolated home in my former residence of Kyuquot, came and visited. A staunch supporter in so many different ways throughout the years of friendship and ministry. What a blessing!

My son, Ken, coming away from his busy life with his very successful business, coming to be here and taking charge of my life details at this point. His strength, calmness of mind, reassurance is utterly amazing! Thank you son!

If I have forgotten anyone, please forgive me. I will add you here as I remember! Whether here in person or not, I l know the comfort of your presence in the power of love and prayers!

Mary Lou Lorentzen, a bible school staff friend who has come alongside our family in so many ways over the years!

She and her husband helped us getting back to Kyuquot after bible school abd is encouraging me even as her own husband’s health is declining! She has helped with my health needs too. God bless her!

An online group of very special people, mostly from out of Canada, yesterday sent me flowers and a lovely stuffie bear I have not yet gotten to cuddle…..looking forward to that! God bless them richly for their caring about an old lady in their group!

Wow!

Blessings galore out of the abundance of God’s love. I am so honoured and thankful to all mentioned and yet unmentioned. ❤️

I can’t thank everyone enough!

Thank you, God , for the people you’ve sent into my path, mentioned or not mentioned at this point!

So many! ❤️

Much love, ❤️

Ann

PS. Before I forget, perhaps last mentioned here for now, but by no means least, my wonderfully tiny little 18 year old grandaughter, Jayden, a precious gift in my life, who brings me great delight and joy, as well as her little brother Jace, who made and sent a carefully made colourful card in my favourite colours (yes, he asked) with a lovely message…..only Jayden could come but I’m so glad she is here with me! Love you dearly, Jayden!

Also little Emma, from our language class, sent a hand made card with her own art and wishes for me. Lovely!

And my pastors, Keith and Violet Hopkins, who can’t come due to ill health right now but I appreciate their love and prayers! Thank you!

Diane N, who came to visit her Dad and visited me too! Please say prayers for her and her family who just lost Dad, husband and all that he meant to them!

My old friends and neighbours Chris and Craig Sampson! Delighted to have a visit with you!

Oh so blessed!

AJ