Drive Through ATM’s
This is just for laughs, OK?
I think it must be an old joke but reading it made me smile 😉
Especially the final part about the hand brake……
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Our Bank is very pleased to announce that they are installing new drive-thru ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, special MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
ATM Instructions
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the ATM cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash & receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to ATM cash machine.
2. Reverse car the required amount to align car window with machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to excessive distance between the car and ATM
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside of the back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Drum fingertips on steering wheel for one minute, then look at ATM and press “enter”.
16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
18. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of cheque book.
19. Re-check makeup.
20. Drive forward 2 feet.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Ignore the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
23. Retrieve card.
24. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card in slot provided.
25. Smile and wave at irate male driver waiting behind you.
26. Restart stalled engine and pull away.
27. Redial person on cell phone.
28. Drive for 2 – 3 miles.
29. Release hand brake.
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